Floored! An Essay on Process

It was my turn to wash the kitchen floor. I know it was my turn, because I asked my housemate to do it last time, and she did. Bless her heart.

And now I've watched as it slowly turned grayish and semi-disgusting again, and regretted that I didn't wait longer to ask her. For surely then the floor would be less bleh right now...

There are things I like doing a lot more than cleaning floors, like eating chocolate or stabbing myself with sharp sticks, because, when I clean the kitchen floor, this is my process:

1. Firstly, I shall wipe the countertops down, and then I’ll sweep.
2. These countertops are filthy, especially underneath the toaster.
3. Ohmygosh, LOOK at the toaster. I just had people over, and they saw this disgusting toaster. I’ll just wipe that down.
4. And dump, soak and wash the crumb tray.
5. All those crumbs. Some have even ended up on the stove. Which is filthy. Where is my cleaning spray?
6. I’ll just wipe down the oven while I’m at it.
7. And since I’m down here, these cabinets need a wipe down, too. What have I ever made that was pink that could have dripped down these cabinets…?
8. Wait. I haven’t even swept yet.
9. Just finishing up the countertops.
10. And the dish rack. Which has a film.
11. And the microwave.
12. And inside the microwave (how have I allowed so much food to invade the sacred heating space? Does the crusted-on food affect the quality of the food that is being prepared to be eaten? Is that a whole spinach leaf stuck in there?)
13. And the plants on top of the microwave. Those should be watered, too.
14. I’ll just rinse these rags out…in this sink that clearly hasn’t been wiped down in a pig’s ear (or is it age? Neither really makes sense, but at this point, what does?)
15. Cleaning fumes.
16. Okay, the whole kitchen is finally clean!
17. Except, of course, for the floor.
18. Sweep, sweep, sweep.
19. Sweep, sweep, sweep, AGAIN.
20. Mop, mop, mop.
21. Run out of mop pads.
22. Crouch on hands and knees and scrub, scrub, scrub.
23. Ta da!

Three hours later...

Gorgeous, isn't it? And the best part is...next time it's all up to my housemate!

xoxo,

Robin